THIS IS IT

Just like the late Michael Jackson, "This Is It!!!!"


No, I am not abandoning my attempted, and I use this word very loosely, weight loss. This is it...like this is the magic number or something.

It hit me this morning, I believe, after I scarfed down three mini Easter cupcakes. I am an All or Nothing kind of a gal. I think, just because there is a little bit of choclate in the house, I can't workout or even eat well enough. After I scarfed down those delectable little treats I relized this isn't IT!!

I can't do the All or Nothing thing forever. Life isn't perfect and neither is losing weight. I am not on the Biggest Loser campus and can't pretend I am. I have four kids and a husband. I am a couponing queen, a stay at home mom and a fabulous baker!! Those things I can't and won't change either. My point is, in MY personal life there is no way I am going to eat perfect 24/7 365 days a year. That doesn't mean it won't evolve to that point, but for right now it's ridiculous for me to imagine I can do that.

So after scarfing those mini treats down, you know what I did??!!! NOOOOOO, I didn't eat another one, I put on JILLIAN!!!

I did about 20 minutes of The Last Chance Workout and I am just happy. Happy, I tell ya!!!  Sure it wasn't 90 minutes, but it was a start. It's been 2 months since I have done anything remote. So for me to do this, its HUUUUGGGEE!!!

Then I realize, maybe...just maybe, I have not looked at the big picture.. I have not lost any crazy amount of weight, but maybe I need to take this slow and not worry about losing 8 lbs a week. Then, I look at what I have done in the past month or so!

* I drink a crap ton of water..I really don't like water, but I drink it like crazy now. I drink a soda once a week or so!! This is HUUUGGGEEE!!!
*I take at least one daily walk a day with my kids.
* I have been having smaller portions for dinner.


I am getting there and I am going to try to update daily so that I can keep myself accountable!!!!

Emotional Breakdown

This isn't where I wanted to be.....

This isn't what I wanted to do....

I feel stuck....

No way out....

I feel like I am stuck, no breathing room, no where to go. Although I know I have the power to turn this around. I have already gained 5 lbs back and I don't want to gain all of it back. I am bloated and I hate myself. Maybe hate is a strong word, but close to it.

I am on the verge of tears right now!! I don't know exactly why or maybe I do. I feel disgusting in not just myself, but right now I have noone and I mean noone to turn to. I am always that person. That person that everyone else turns to when their life is in ruin. With that being said, it takes a lot for me to ask for help. When I do, I often feel rejected and this is where I am at!!! It doesn't help that I am PMSing so my emotions are effin crazy!!!

Its been close to a month since I have busted my ass!!! I haven't written my food down in a few weeks. Itss been one thing after another, but I hate excuses and won't use that either. I need to write a plan down, but never get around. I always put myself last. Last to shower, last to dress, last to eat, which may not be a bad thing, i just put myself last.

I have a plan of action!!!

This week I am starting to write everything down. The Good. The Bad. The Really Really Ugly.

Next week I am going to add in cardio at least three days. I have to start small and then work my way up.

I am not quitting on myself!!! Please don't quit on me!!!

Is anyone listening to my hormonal driven rant....

Short and Sweet

I'm on a commercial break from American Idol, so this will be short and sweet.

Breakfast: egg white burrito
Lunch: boca burger on whole grain bread
Dinner: turkey chili, 2 tb low fat sour cream, saltines
Dessert: 2 small cookies

About 1200 calories...lighter side, but did 70 minutes of cardio and a
buttload of water.
Okay back to Idol:)

Tammy

The Good, the Bad and the Great

It's weigh in day, friends....

Last week: 273
This week: 275
+ 2 lbs

It is what is!!! I did not do cardio one single day last week. Plus, I
ate whatever was in arms reach. Honestly, i am suprised it wasn't
more. So I am good with what it said. Plus, I use a mechanical scale
and lord knows they aren't the most reliable.

I started the day with 70 minutes cardio including a hard MMA and
Turbo Jam workout. I am already feeling it!

Tammy

Buring and Burning

What a way to return to Cardioland!!!! Right off the bat, I completed
70 minutes of heavy cardio thanks to Turbo Jam mainly! It was such a
relief to sweat my butt off. I forgot to weigh in today, but
will,vhopefully, do that tomorrow:):)

Here are my eats for today:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 flatout, 20 grapes
Lunch: tuna with diced apples, celery, egg whites and light mayo on 1
flatout, 20 grapes
Snack: 1 egg white, 4 crackers, 2 cheese
Dinner: chipotle citrus chicken, corn, biscuit, carrots
Dessert: coke:(:( 4 licorce

I was under 1600 cals for the day, but still happy with myself. I am
pleased with the yummy cookies i passed on and I am in good spirits
once again:):)

A letter to Cardio

Dear Cardio,
I know I have neglected you over the past two weeks, I apologize that
I haven't partook with you. I sincerely apologize for your failed
attempts to reconnect. However, after our 70 minute discussion today,
I understand how vital it is to partake with you every day. But did
you have to beat my butt that bad and thank-you for bringing along
Michael Jackson, Beyonce,Kesha and Kanye. They really helped in
driving your point home. I pinky swear promise to see you again
tomorrow.
Love,
Tammy

Gittn' Back On Track

Its been nearly two weeks since I have posted anything weight related.
HOLY SMOKES!!!

Some of you know that I had a family emergency. My youngest was In the
hospital for 5 days with pneumonia and RSV. He was dehydrated and loss
muscle tone. He came home Thursday night and his antibiotics are
finally starting ti work. He is stated to walk with assistance, but
still gets tired easily. He's doing so much better!!!

Needless to say, I haven't worked out since he first got
sick....almost two weeks ago!!! My eating wasn't horrible, but I felt
guilty if I ATE or took a breather. I KNOW I KNOW!!! HORRIBLE!!! This
weeoend, when he showed improvement, I made up for it!!! LOL!! I
wanted to start working out again since he's doing so
well...MOTIVATION PLEASE!!??

WEIGH IN TIME.......
LAST TIME: 278.5
THIS WEEK: 275(WHAT THE @#$%)
TOTAL: 25 LBS

OH YEAH OH YEAH!!!

TAMMY