THIS IS IT

Just like the late Michael Jackson, "This Is It!!!!"


No, I am not abandoning my attempted, and I use this word very loosely, weight loss. This is it...like this is the magic number or something.

It hit me this morning, I believe, after I scarfed down three mini Easter cupcakes. I am an All or Nothing kind of a gal. I think, just because there is a little bit of choclate in the house, I can't workout or even eat well enough. After I scarfed down those delectable little treats I relized this isn't IT!!

I can't do the All or Nothing thing forever. Life isn't perfect and neither is losing weight. I am not on the Biggest Loser campus and can't pretend I am. I have four kids and a husband. I am a couponing queen, a stay at home mom and a fabulous baker!! Those things I can't and won't change either. My point is, in MY personal life there is no way I am going to eat perfect 24/7 365 days a year. That doesn't mean it won't evolve to that point, but for right now it's ridiculous for me to imagine I can do that.

So after scarfing those mini treats down, you know what I did??!!! NOOOOOO, I didn't eat another one, I put on JILLIAN!!!

I did about 20 minutes of The Last Chance Workout and I am just happy. Happy, I tell ya!!!  Sure it wasn't 90 minutes, but it was a start. It's been 2 months since I have done anything remote. So for me to do this, its HUUUUGGGEE!!!

Then I realize, maybe...just maybe, I have not looked at the big picture.. I have not lost any crazy amount of weight, but maybe I need to take this slow and not worry about losing 8 lbs a week. Then, I look at what I have done in the past month or so!

* I drink a crap ton of water..I really don't like water, but I drink it like crazy now. I drink a soda once a week or so!! This is HUUUGGGEEE!!!
*I take at least one daily walk a day with my kids.
* I have been having smaller portions for dinner.


I am getting there and I am going to try to update daily so that I can keep myself accountable!!!!

Emotional Breakdown

This isn't where I wanted to be.....

This isn't what I wanted to do....

I feel stuck....

No way out....

I feel like I am stuck, no breathing room, no where to go. Although I know I have the power to turn this around. I have already gained 5 lbs back and I don't want to gain all of it back. I am bloated and I hate myself. Maybe hate is a strong word, but close to it.

I am on the verge of tears right now!! I don't know exactly why or maybe I do. I feel disgusting in not just myself, but right now I have noone and I mean noone to turn to. I am always that person. That person that everyone else turns to when their life is in ruin. With that being said, it takes a lot for me to ask for help. When I do, I often feel rejected and this is where I am at!!! It doesn't help that I am PMSing so my emotions are effin crazy!!!

Its been close to a month since I have busted my ass!!! I haven't written my food down in a few weeks. Itss been one thing after another, but I hate excuses and won't use that either. I need to write a plan down, but never get around. I always put myself last. Last to shower, last to dress, last to eat, which may not be a bad thing, i just put myself last.

I have a plan of action!!!

This week I am starting to write everything down. The Good. The Bad. The Really Really Ugly.

Next week I am going to add in cardio at least three days. I have to start small and then work my way up.

I am not quitting on myself!!! Please don't quit on me!!!

Is anyone listening to my hormonal driven rant....

Short and Sweet

I'm on a commercial break from American Idol, so this will be short and sweet.

Breakfast: egg white burrito
Lunch: boca burger on whole grain bread
Dinner: turkey chili, 2 tb low fat sour cream, saltines
Dessert: 2 small cookies

About 1200 calories...lighter side, but did 70 minutes of cardio and a
buttload of water.
Okay back to Idol:)

Tammy

The Good, the Bad and the Great

It's weigh in day, friends....

Last week: 273
This week: 275
+ 2 lbs

It is what is!!! I did not do cardio one single day last week. Plus, I
ate whatever was in arms reach. Honestly, i am suprised it wasn't
more. So I am good with what it said. Plus, I use a mechanical scale
and lord knows they aren't the most reliable.

I started the day with 70 minutes cardio including a hard MMA and
Turbo Jam workout. I am already feeling it!

Tammy

Buring and Burning

What a way to return to Cardioland!!!! Right off the bat, I completed
70 minutes of heavy cardio thanks to Turbo Jam mainly! It was such a
relief to sweat my butt off. I forgot to weigh in today, but
will,vhopefully, do that tomorrow:):)

Here are my eats for today:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 flatout, 20 grapes
Lunch: tuna with diced apples, celery, egg whites and light mayo on 1
flatout, 20 grapes
Snack: 1 egg white, 4 crackers, 2 cheese
Dinner: chipotle citrus chicken, corn, biscuit, carrots
Dessert: coke:(:( 4 licorce

I was under 1600 cals for the day, but still happy with myself. I am
pleased with the yummy cookies i passed on and I am in good spirits
once again:):)

A letter to Cardio

Dear Cardio,
I know I have neglected you over the past two weeks, I apologize that
I haven't partook with you. I sincerely apologize for your failed
attempts to reconnect. However, after our 70 minute discussion today,
I understand how vital it is to partake with you every day. But did
you have to beat my butt that bad and thank-you for bringing along
Michael Jackson, Beyonce,Kesha and Kanye. They really helped in
driving your point home. I pinky swear promise to see you again
tomorrow.
Love,
Tammy

Gittn' Back On Track

Its been nearly two weeks since I have posted anything weight related.
HOLY SMOKES!!!

Some of you know that I had a family emergency. My youngest was In the
hospital for 5 days with pneumonia and RSV. He was dehydrated and loss
muscle tone. He came home Thursday night and his antibiotics are
finally starting ti work. He is stated to walk with assistance, but
still gets tired easily. He's doing so much better!!!

Needless to say, I haven't worked out since he first got
sick....almost two weeks ago!!! My eating wasn't horrible, but I felt
guilty if I ATE or took a breather. I KNOW I KNOW!!! HORRIBLE!!! This
weeoend, when he showed improvement, I made up for it!!! LOL!! I
wanted to start working out again since he's doing so
well...MOTIVATION PLEASE!!??

WEIGH IN TIME.......
LAST TIME: 278.5
THIS WEEK: 275(WHAT THE @#$%)
TOTAL: 25 LBS

OH YEAH OH YEAH!!!

TAMMY

My Love Affair With......

GRAPES!!! YES, GRAPES!!!

I love grapes and after strawberries are my fruit of choice. I love
the coolness, the first bite past that crisp skin and the wave of
sweet coolness hits my tongue!

The best part is they are $.99 a lb.....so cheap and soooooooo good. I
just had a half cup and had to share my affair!!!

HOW DO I LOOK? :);):)

My Day-Tuesday

Wow!!! What a day! I started the day on a high with losing 5 lbs!!!
Shortly after I felt weird and only got 20 minutes of Cardio in. I
spent most of my afternoon in the bathroom or with my youngest as his
molars were coming in. Then felt better!! Even more so after I tried
on my fav jeans and they were a loose around the waist and butt. Even
my hubs complimented me!!!:):):):):):)

Breakfast: cherrios with 1% milk
Lunch: jello,fruit bar
Snack: jello
Dinner: 2turkey dogs on whole grain bread with 1/4 cup turkey chili,
10 oz cherry coke

Not a good eating day at all!!!!

Tammy

Death to Dieting

DEATH TO DIETING!!!!

YUP,thats right. I say death TO dieting!!!!:o:o

Dont be alarmed, my healthier amigas/amigos!!!

DIETS DONT AND WILL NEVER WORK!! Its a lifestyle, Baby!!! We all know
this, but weeeee still-life say, every new year, new month, new
week..."gonna start that diet Monday" BULLSHIT!!! YEA, weeeee might
eat clean for a few days, at max, AND we get frustrated and throw in
three-dimensional towel. NEWSFLASH!!! THIS 'DIET' WILL continue for
the rest of our lives. There is no easy way out, but there is good
news!!!

The rewards aré soooo worth it. We are gonna mess up AND thats
okay!!!! We live AND learn!!!

Flat out pizzas

This is an easy recipe for the flat out brand pizza. You cans find
these everywhere. I use the,original. I use low sodium pizza
sauce.....a tablespoon or so. I don't like too much sauce. I sprinkle
a little mozzarella. I add 8 slices turkey pepperoni, dived peppers,
onion, garlic,mushrooms,a little more mozzarella.
Bake at 350 for 12 minutes in a sprayed baking sheet. I like my crispy.
About 200 calories.
ENJOY!!!

Habits of a healthier chick

I can feel myself making better food choices, without giving it a
second thought. It hit me today when I was with my whole family
running errands and such. You know most of us hit the drive thru and
order fat on salt on fat crappola!! My husband wanted to hit a local
Mexican eatery and I told him no. Yep that's right!!!! I stood up in
the name of health. Not only did I save myself from lard, but I saved
myself money.

He's soo hooked on my flat out pizzas, and so are my kids!!! It makes
me feel good about all this. My kids, for the most part, are loving
all the veggies I'm bringing home. LOVIN IT!!!

So took a 30 minute brisk walk with the whole family. I had around
1500 cals today.

Tammy

I AM BUFF!!!

YEP THAT'S RIGHT!! I AM BUFF!!!

My husband even called it!! Doesn't it make you feel so good when
someone finally notices all your hard work!?! One word describes it.
SENSATIONALLY FABULOUSO!!!

So I bought three fabulous SLEEVELESS shirts. I'll post pics later,
but I am definately seeing changes in my body and loving it. Now for
some bad news...dun dun dun....

I haven't had a decent Cardio session in two days. BUTTTT I have a
session penciled in tomorrow, my usual rest day. Yesterday, I had 1600
cals and all craptood. It included a 6 inch subway chicken sub with
veggies, four small slices of pizza and two shots of vodka. The theme
carried over to today with turkey sausage, sloppy Joe, 8 fries,a
banana.

TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY!!!

Sales

Here's just a little note. If you are on a budget. And hate clipping
coupons, heres an awesome site.
Www.denvermetromoms.com
Awesome recap of all major chains, samples and freebies.

Carbs

Hey all!! Good day Cardio wise, bad day water wise and mediocre day
food wise. Cals were around 1600 and I. Am glad I got a higher calorie
day in, but not with my food choices.

Breakfast:1 cup rice cereal w/ 1/3 cup 1% milk
Lunch: 2 hard.boiled eggs and 7 saltines.
Snack: 1/2 cup natural applesauce
Dinner:11/2 flatout pizza, 1 soda :(
Snack: 15 pringles

I are too many carbs and salt, but I am looking forward!!! On the plus
note, I took a small bite of a.brownie and it was so sweet. I wasn't
even tempted. Funny, how our tastes change.

Tammy

BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

If yall love blueberry muffins like I do, then you will love this. I
found this recipe via Hungry Girl and this recipe can be found we
hungry-girl.com. This recipe is fab and taste like blueberry pancakes.

1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup.fresh/frozen blueberries.
1/2 cup light vanilla soymilk
1/4 cup sugar-free pancake syrup
3 TB non-packed brown sugar
1/4 cup egg beaters
1/4 cup Splenda
2 Tb light whipped butter
2 TB no-sugar-added applesauce
11/2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. Vanilla extract
1/4 t. Salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
In a medium mixing bowl, combine flour, Splenda, brown sugar, baking
powder, and salt.
In a large mixing bowl, combine thouroughly the soymilk, egg beaters,
butter, applesauce, and vanilla. It's. Okay if its a little lumpy.
Add dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix. Fold in blueberries.
Line 6 muffin cups with liners or spray. Evenly distribute.
Bake 22 minutes.

Serves 6...137 calories, 2.25g fat, 26.5g carbs, 4g protein

Tammy

Weigh Was Today

The dreaded weigh in was today. Did I gain, maintain or lose?? The
numbers speak for themselves. DRUM ROLL PLEASE....

Last week: 290
This Week: 283.5
Loss: 6.5 lbs
Total loss: 16.5 lbs

Yeah me!!!!

A pretty face

A pretty face. I have the cutest face. It was after my first son that
I realized how cute my features were. That if I played up my eyes, a
lil lipgloss and a flat iron, I was transformed into this pretty lil
thing. This way people were deflected from my body and were drawn to
my face and personality. This worked and in this way I became very
self.confident, but just unhappy with my body. Weird I know, but I
figure its what many of us do.

I had a really good day, just low in calories again, 1100. I worked 35
minutes kickboxing and downed the water.

Breakfast: 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/2 cup peaches
Lunch: 1 flatout veggie pizza
Snack: 1/2 cup peaches,8 white corn tortilla chips
Dinner: 4 oz salmon with 2 TB light mayo/basil sauce, 1/2 cup squash.

Good Night Dolls
Tammy

The back view

Myself at 290 lbs

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Steven Pyron <sdppyron@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 2010 18:25:41 -0700
Subject:
To: hisgoddesss@gmail.com

Black-Bean Burgers

2 Tb olive oil
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 onion,chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 15-oz can black beans no salt added, rinsed and drained
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 Tb cumin
1/2 cup bread crumbs
Salt and pepper if desired

Preheat oven to 375. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
Warm oil in skillet. Add celery and onion, stirring often for 3-5
minutes. Add garlic and saute one minute more. Set aside.
Pour beans un food processor or blender until a paste forms. Pour in large bowl.
Add veggies from skillet. Stir in cumin, egg and bread crumbs.
If desired, season with salt and pepper.
Use hand and form 4 parties. Place on baking sheet.
Bake 10 minutes on each side.

215 cals, 9 g fat, 1 g saturated fat, 28 g fiber, 9 g protein

Tammy

moi

slooooowwww speed

Have you ever had a day where the day is moving so slow? So slow, in
fact, that it seems like you are watching yourself in a movie? That
was so my day today. My kids. I don't know, seemed like they woke up
all sugared up!!! I have four kids all under 9 and weather here was
brrrrrrific!! I was using all my patience and willpower just not to
stuff my face full of crap so I wouldn't pull my hair out. However,
this movie had a happy ending :):) I am so glad and proud I am at a
place I care more about my health and well being than what a 12 ounce
can of corn syrup can do for me!!

I made black bean burgers tonight, but didn't make enough for me :(:(
I had Boca burgers, so its all good. I consumer so little today about
1000 calories. I know I know. I just had one of those days and it was
a rest day too. I might post the recipe of my black bean burgers.
Thoughts?

Breakfast: 3/4 orange, 1 whole wheat cini muffin
Lunch: 1 flatout with egg, Apple and light mayo
Snack: handful of chocolate chips, fruit bar
Dinner: 2 Boca burgers on 1 bun, 3 teaspoons of beans, 1 cookie

Good night, friends
Tammy

Faux Peanut Butter Cheesecake

I experimented with this last night and its such a yummy ice cream
dessert. It's 200 calories a slice but sooo good.

1 cup Free whipped cream
2 cups low fat ice cream/ frozen yogurt- vanilla
1 packet sugar free Cheesecake pudding mix
1/4 cup natural peanut butter ( I use Smart Balance)

In chilled bowl let ice cream and whipped cream soften. Stir all
ingredients in bowl until combined. Pour in 8 x 8 pan cover and freeze
for 2 hrs.

Optional: add another layer of whipped cream upon serving.

Tammy

Thrilled:)

Hello Beauties!! Another wonderful day in Cardio land. I worked out
for a total of 70 minutes. Not bad at all. My calorie consumption is
on the low side around 1200 but I made a yummilicious low cal dessert,
so will be closer to 1400. Drank tons of water and just had a fabulous
day.

Breakfast: 1 egg in flatout with 1/2 banana
Lunch: low fat yogurt with 1/8 cup bare naked granola
Snack 2 tb peanut butter, 1 banana
Dinner: my special low cal shrimp Alfredo, 1 coke :(

I have another thought of starting a second blog of just all my
recipes that I try and blog about the best of the best. I scour recipe
books and websites for healthy recipes and scrumptious desserts. I try
all sorts of things and my family willingly loves my treats. Thoughts?

Tammy

Sore.....but thats okay!:)

Hey all!! Another day and it was awesome. I ate well,.around 1300
calories, walked for 45 minutes and picked up some new Cardio videos.
I picked up Gilad's Elite Forces...looks hard,but I am up for a
challenge;);)

Alicia, my 5 year old, was working out with me and this is what she
says."Mommy, you're tummy is getting so small." The things kids say
that just make you happy.:)

Breakfast: 1 cup rice crispies, 1/4 cup 1% milk
Lunch: tuna salad- egg without yolk, dived apples, tuna,celery and
light mayo in a flatout tortilla, 1/2 orange
Snack: serving of turkey pepperoni, a few choclate chips
Dinner: my own chicken fajitas with peppers, onions in romaine
lettuce, funky monkey square

I am gonna read and relax. Good night beautiful friends!!

Tammy

Awesomness-ness

Hey all! I had an awesome day filled with lots of fun!! I consumed
just under 1300 calories, over 80 oz water and 10 minutes marine boot
camp, 30 minutes Billy Blanks and 30 minutes walking. I also did an
additional 50 crunches and squats.

What a great day! I have so much energy, but I am ready to call it a night.
Tammy

Give and Take

It's all about giving a lil and taking a lil. It's not always about
the all or nothing so many of us can relate too. The feeling of "Oh, I
had some chocolate, I'll just start again tomorrow." This sentiment I
have expressed so many times myself...but I say to EVERYONE. START
NOW!!! Learn from out mistakea, not bury them like a sack of bones.

I'm keeping this short. I ate get well around 1200 calories and burned
about 550 doing Tae bo. GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS!!

mini chocolate chip pancakes

These are delicious...one batch yields 5 mini cakes and all five are
just 179 calories.

3 TB old fashioned oats..not the quick kind
3 TB egg beaters
2 TB whole wheat flour
1 Tb light vanilla soymilk
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon vanilla
dash of salt
1/2 TB CHOCOLATE CHIPS ...semisweet

Mix all dry ingredients.
Add 1 TB WATER AND MIX.
Fold in chocolate chips.
Cookbook 1 minute each side.

Courtesy from Hungry Girl

Weigh in today

First off today was my weigh in day and I lost 10 lbs!! Yep that's
right!! This miss thang lost 10 LBS!! I was so happy,but throughout
the late morning I became overwhelmingly sad. I almost felt like I
didn't deserve the 10 lbs...like I didn't work hard enough. That
feeling was short lived and I tried to work through it without
devouring my.feelings with food.

I managed 30 minutes of Lisa Rinna which was a fun workout. My
breakfast was cottage cheese and peaches followed with abanana. No
lunch :( Dinner was a low fat taco casserole and a low.sugar dessert.
I had about 1100 calories.

Tomorrow is a new day!!!!

<3 My Day <3

What a day! I mean that in a good way too. I started my day off right
with a 30 minute brisk walk followed by a breakfast of peaches and
cottage cheese. My meat and potatoes even had some. Yeahhh!!

I received a.Droid and love all the apps especially the Spark People
recipe app. I love my Cardio Trainer!! I spent most of the morning
downloading apps. I made a lovely lunch of boneless bbq wings...170
calories for 5 pieces followed with celery and a tad of low fat ranch.
I went and played some tennis. BEING ACTIVE ROCKS!!!

I had baked tilipia and a healthy version of pasta primavera. I also
had a cup of light chocolate soymilk. I also had a fruit bar and one
reese. Yep just one. I took in roughly 1300 calories.

I had an awesome day and starting to crave working out more and more
with each passing day. It's almost time for bed soooo on that
note...GOOD NITE BLOGGIES:)

Whatta day!!!

Hello all! What a day...boredom and stress attempted to rear their
ugly heads and get the best of me. However, I triumphed! Tammy-1
Cravings-0

For breakfast I had 1/2 cup nonfat cottage cheese mixed with 1/2 cup
nonfat yogurt and 1/2 banana. Lunch was lean turkey and romaine on a
whole wheat tortillas. Dinner was a blackbean burger with fruit salad.
I did plenty of grazing with apples and oranges.

I am ready to hit the sack and hope for a more productive day
tomorrow. G'night!!!

So far I completed 25

So far I completed 25 minutes of Celebrity Fit Sculpt. GOOOOOO ME!!

Emotional Baggage

I am an emotional eater! I eat when I am I bored, although that has
improved over the past week. I allow my relationships with people
influence how and what I eat. These are things I recognized this week
and event brought to my husband's attention. In one word my husband is
simply AMAZING!!! He is my rock. He pushes me on days when I would
rather have a coke and a Tacos Bell. This man has changed so much it's
crazy.

It's so nice to have a support system and one of the fundamental keys
to weight loss success and clarity.

Everyday is a challenge. Everyday is a fight. It's not about being
perfect, but having those horrendous days and learning from them. I am
thrilled to make this public and invite any and all to my journey!!

New Year....New Decade...Newer Tammy

I have been dealing with my weight all my life. I mean all my life!! I am one child out of 8 and respectively I am the one thats always had problems with being overweight. My parents never were obsessed, but I always felt judged and compared to my other "skinny" sisters. I was teased relentlessly through school. "Fatty", "Lardo" and the ever popular "Beef." This stuck with me up until my eating disorders and such. Even as an adult, I have crazy self confidence even though I am overweight. I know I am hot and more than a pretty face, but I am ready to be more than just that. More than a girl with a wicked sense of humor and a pretty face.


So I declare 2010.....THE YEAR OF THE TAMMY!!!!

I am owning this year and making it mine. I will document every good day and every bad day!! This is a start of a new journey and I invite you all to take an inside glimpse of not a good girl gone bad....but a FAT GIRL GONE HEALTHY!!!!!